i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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