Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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