who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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