seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
