a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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