oh god the rape fog is back!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
