For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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