areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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