Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
