the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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