no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
