i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize