i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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