It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
