sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
