my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
