Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
cat food counts as protein by the way
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
