so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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