The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
