apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
