I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
