I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
