You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
