Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
