and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
