nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
