At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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