I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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