Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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