he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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