Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize