I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
