What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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