Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
tell me about the fingering
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
