This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
