You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Everyone says I win the strip club
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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