Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
