I smell stomach acid.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
