it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
