and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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