Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize