he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
