When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
