so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
