2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
