Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
