i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
