weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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