I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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