a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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