I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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