My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
