I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
