"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
