Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
