reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
