Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize