i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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