are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't deserve a penis
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
